The Jacket

At the start of 12WBT I had a goal that I would fit into my gorgeous Ascot hacking Jacket.  I had made the promise or restriction on myself that until I fitted into this jacket that I wasn’t going to ride my horses. This was due to a few factors – mainly the negative impacts my weight and lack of core strength has on my riding, plus I shouldn’t expect the horses to carry my extra weight.

To me this jacket represents so much more than just losing weight and cms. It highlights all the things that I have missed out on due to being overweight.

It represents

•   The pain I felt at each show when it was getting tighter and tighter. And the fear that it might split at the back seams if I moved the wrong way

•   The missed opportunities both within my horses and life

•   The lack of joy I was feeling at my heaviest and the fear that I wouldn’t ever fit into it again.

Well the other day while in my PJs I made the decision to try the jacket on to see how far away I was. I did consider that this could work in a negative way for me if the jacket was miles off fitting- could have sent me into why bother spiral, but thought screw it. And OMG it fitted- like fitted great- buttons done up and everything. Hell I could even move my arms and breathe. Here I was standing in my room with my Hacking jacket on, PJ bottoms dancing around and have a bit of an emotional moment.

I couldn’t, can’t believe that I fit into my 12 week goal jacket in week 5!!! Rang my mum to tell her- lol she didn’t really ‘get it’ so I had to jump onto Facebook and tell 12WBT people, and you guys completely got it. It seemed so silly to me at the time to be getting emotional about a jacket fitting but then I thought about it more and then realised what it meant for me.

So i might be excited about getting my horses backing proper work- but i doubt they are as excited as me about the prospect of their holidays ending

My four beautiful horses (or well 3 horses and a pony)

Maestro, Jack, Bobby and Wesley

So coming towards the end of Week 5 and I have achieved some goals miles ahead of what I was expecting. I looked at what I wrote done as goals at the start of 12WBT and I am excited about the ones that I have been able to tick off

·         I have done a 5km fun run (or in my case walk J )

·         Run/jog/shuffle 1km non stop

·         Fit into my in hand and also my Hacking jacket

·         Lose 4kgs and then 12kgs

·         Bought bathers and actually went to the pool

·         To go to the gym 4 times a week

I think that when first setting my goals, I limited myself on what I thought I could achieve. I now know that I am capable of so much more without my own restrictions on myself. Time to re access and push myself more. Bring on the next 7 weeks and beyond- i will succeed in this.