Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Goals VS numbers game and what this journey means to me

When I first made to decision to acknowledge that I needed to lose weight- I had no other goals bar kg loss and no direction to head into. I had joined the 12WBT but always baulked at the payment page, never quite sure I was ready for the commitment. As much as my mother was always at me for needing to lose weight, I always said that “I will when I’m ready” or “it’s my choice”. And I am right in a way; the decision to act needs to come from YOU. You know when your mind set is right to change, you know when you are sick and tired of being fat and all the associated issues and you know when enough is enough. Hence I am here from my own choice not of others.

So I have embarked on this Journey with the light at the end of the tunnel being my goal weight of 75kgs. That was it- I hadn’t considered mid goals (except maybe being at weight no longer three digits) hadn’t considered exercise goals, clothes goals or even personal goals. All I was concerned about was the number on the scale going down. But that isn’t all what this journey is about.

For me it is about a “lifestyle change”. I’ve done the diets only focusing on the numbers, lost the weight and then put it all back on and then some. I never changed my thinking and was always able to justify my bad decisions- a lot of the time with my excuses listed below in my last blog. I think having a goal only limited to a weight kg number gives you tunnel vision, you have your blinkers on to only see the number and you go to sleep worrying about that number, wake up worrying about it. Not the healthiest or happiest way to start out. I understand that this program is number based re weight, measurements, calories in/calories out, kms etc. but it isn’t YOU vs Numbers; it’s YOU(your better self) vs YOU(with excuses, old self)

So the goal Pre Season task in 12WBT made me really consider what I really want out of this program. I want/need what we all want out of life, to be healthy, happy, confident within myself and be heading in a positive direction. I hadn’t given much consideration on what direction or how to get there just that I wanted to get there one way or another. Being introduced to the S.M.A.R.T goal concept has given me the direction I need plus pushed me to achieve more. The 48kg I’m aiming to lose is no longer the scariest number when broken down into time frames nor is it now the only goal I have. I want to actually learn to run, I want to do triathlon, I want to buy smaller work uniforms, I want a healthy BMI, and I want to fit into that gorgeous jacket currently hidden in the back of my cupboard.  There is now so much I want for myself that I didn’t know about until I realised they were possible. And they ARE possible. Now I just need to remember this when I’m having dark days and the going gets tough.

The countdown is on 20 days till 12WBT Round 3 2012 starts!!! And I’m ready to embrace the controlled chaos it will cause my old self and the kick start to finding my way back to the person I am within.

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