This is not something I would of expected to write when I first embarked on this journey of sorts
Something I have been struggling with this week is UNDER eating. I eat my breakfast and lunch and the snacks during the day, I do my work out after work and then I get home and I’m completely not hungry. It’s not even the fact I don’t want to cook- I’m tired but it’s no drama- have lots of frozen meal choices for those days. It is that I just don’t feel the need to eat. No hungry pains, no cravings- just plain not hungry. I had made the choice that I would go to bed without eating, maybe 3-4 times last week- in my mind I didn’t want to ‘force’ myself to eat as I was afraid that it would either cause a binge or bring on those evil hunger pains.
The problem with that was 4 days out of the 7, I was lucky to have reached 700 calories. I was also doing two workouts daily burning between 600-1200 calories each day. I KNOW that this isn’t a combination that gets results. I think I can almost feel my body going “my fat-MINE” in preparation for the starvation it thinks I am putting it thru. I thought I was prepared to combat the hungry excuses but what the hell do I do about not hungry?? This wasn’t something I was expecting lol At the start I was embracing the not hungry feeling as I meant to could focus on the choices both in food and exercise without going slightly mad with hungry, getting grumpy and then fighting urges when I got home.
I have a cupboard and freezer full of pre-prepared meals, healthy snacks and great choices- but the problem is not the choices I’m making but the lack of one.
I knew what I was doing wasn’t the correct choice- eating less does NOT equal higher weight loss and my mind set wasn’t ever in this thinking. It was more I use to be a massive overeater and was afraid that by what I felt was ‘forcing’ myself to eat that I could possible start down that path again.
Over eating, under eating-ARGH I just want to find the happy medium in between and I know 12WBT is this path. Yes I still lost weight this week but I will bring on a plateau or a gain if I continued this false relationship with dinner.
So I have fortified myself with the strength that eating dinner will not cause overeating because I WONT allow it too. Dinner isn’t an evil meal that will cause the scale to go up- it is a meal that my body needs to function and support my weight loss journey. The meals plans that 12WBT provide will NOT run straight to my butt and make it bigger- although that is possible if I continue to not eat.
I have been making the right choices so there is no reason to be so afraid of my success so far. Sometimes I think success or progress can bring up feelings of being undeserving. I have treated my body like crap for so long- do I deserve to be thin and look and feel great? Those sorts of down feelings. But I do deserve to be that healthier person and so does everyone else. Success is never a straight or flat journey and this was just a tangent off the best course for me