Tuesday 18 December 2012

So Where have I Been

So where have I been
Now it is somewhat obvious that for the last 5 or so weeks I have gone a bit ‘missing in action’
There were a few reasons for this but the main one being that I needed “ME” time
Me time makes me sound a little bit selfish and self centered but I just needed time to re-focus and balance myself a bit more.
I’ve looked at my blog and hadn’t absolutely NO idea how to write or if I could put into words how I feeling. So I made to decision rather that write forced ‘crap’ as I call it I would wait until I felt ready to write again.
After Sydney finale, everything was intense and completely and utterly INSANE. I’m not a private person at all, but I certainly wasn’t prepared for the attention both negative and positive that I received. I had emails, Facebook message, and blog posts. I had random people at work congratulations - hell I didn’t even know they knew about 12WBT. I am in no way an attention seeker and all of this really made me want to go running to the hills and hide.
I am so super proud of my accomplishments on my journey so far and I would like to think I am a strong minded, determined young women HOWEVER there is honestly only so much negative that I can and WANT to deal with.
If I read one more “that’s great that you won’t die of heart disease instead you’ll die of skin cancer”, “These results are photo shopped and you’re a fake” (ps here if I photo shopped I might of got rid of the sunburn just personally you know lol) or “You still so fat, unhealthy etc.” – I think I might of cracked. These were the polite comments I received- I shall not re write some of the emails as its bit like “feeding the trolls”.
the said sunburnt and  photoshopped photos :P



There was a stage where I felt like I was spending more time on the computer than outside, moving gym’ing or the like.  I had SO many messages to reply to and there was only so much time I want to spend talking about my journey rather than living it. That sounds like I didn’t want to be supportive but its more that I’m still only halfway thru and I most certainly don’t have the answers yet
I started off being able to deal with it, but then it got to a point where I went – Actually I’m NOT ok with how this is making me feel.  So I made to decision just to withdraw a little bit from the ‘online environment’ to get my head in the right space.
So for a while I just kept to myself, worked my ass off at the gym, followed the program just very quietly going about my business. I eventually was able to step back and realise that a lot of the those comments were either from jealousy or from people scared about their own journeys- deep down I knew this already , but these facts were hidden by my hurt from them in the first place.
So after my ‘ME” time, I’m Back, happy, positive, healthy, proud and estatic where I am now and well into the Eighties

15 comments:

  1. Love it! Glad you're back, and glad you've got some perspective around the tossers whose sole existence seems to be to make other people's lives miserable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am horrified to think that you dealt with criticism when to me the whole way through my journey you have been nothing but a solidly inspiring to me. Being around the same age, around the same starting weight and even no far off the same region, your photos were the first that made me think that maybe I could do this after all. I am glad you are back, I am sorry for all those horrible people, and I am thrilled to hear you have made it into the eighties!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. well done Casey, I was at the finale and you looked lovely. Don't let it get to you just shine and keep on doing what you have been doing. It is hard work not only the weight loss but dealing with all the comments. I wish you well :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Welcome back gorgeous lady. Good on you for getting through the crap and realising that people were just jealous. Glad to hear that you are continuing with your journey xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry to read that something that should of been a time for celebration was stained by the dreggs of humanity... You are certainly right about the jealousy and their own self worth fuelling this campaign against you.
    Happy to see you back and posting hold your head up high beacuse you are one incredible person who achieved an incredible result through consistancy, hardwork & alot of perspiration :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice to see you back!!! And glad you took the time to yourself, to work through things, and come out the other side stronger & better for it!!! So sorry to hear you had to deal with all that crap!!

    Welcome back xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes, I read some of those nasty comments. It was really unbelievable. Glad you decided to take a break.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well Casey, you know what I think of all of that negativity. Kick it to the kerb. I have been with you on the journey, walked alongside you, laughed with you, run with you, coloured up with you!!!!!! and I know how far you've come. And yes it's a journey and we're not over yet.

    Carol
    www.finding-carol.blogspot.com.au

    ReplyDelete
  9. <3 your post Hun. Welcome back to a safe space. P.s your a really talented at photoshop LOL. ( silly people) xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am so shocked that people would go out of their way to write unpleasant things to you. Clearly people with too much time on their hands.
    And you're in the 80s now?! That is amazing! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is really only my first round of 12wbt and I had no idea that you would/could be faced with such negativity! That is repulsive behaviour! When I first looked at your photos I had a chuckle about the "tan" but was mostly focused on your amazing achievement and the encouragement that it gave to me. Well done on how far you have come and don't allow such trolls to win! Just keep on doing what you're doing despite them because your commitment so far has obviously been paying off! Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks Casey for sharing your story.
    I have nominated you for a blog award
    http://mishsmash.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/a-versatile-blogger-nomination/
    Merry Christmas <3

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dearest Casey, blast, Mish got in first. I've nominated your blog for a blog award too.

    http://www.finding-carol.blogspot.com.au/2012/12/taking-it-to-streets.html

    Carol x
    www.finding-carol.blogspot.com.au

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi honey, i feel your pain. I received some horrible gut renching messages after my round one win from both strangers and good friends. Don't take them as personal attacks on you. You know who your real friends and supporters are and they are people with no insecuritys and are happy both with their own lives and also happy for you.

    Those people that dont have a nice bone in their bodys or words in their mouths because they have failed at what you have succeeded in. They make these comments because they are threatened by your hard work and it is hard work. I went through a hard time after round one to the point that i thought it wasnt worth it. Until a close friend explained it to me. These negative people are the type that want to live up to the jones's and if they cant they will insult and put them down just to make themselves feel better than you. These people when threatened get nasty.
    i even had to change my hairdressers because i went there a couple of months after winning and my hairdresser told me how a very close friend had been in a few days earlier and done nothing but bag me out to my hairdresser. This was a person that i thought i was quite close to and somebody i had supported when they were down and out. Jelousy is a very strong emotion and can bring out the nasty in people. In a strange way i feel sorry for these type of people because they must live a very sad and lonely life.

    Surround yourself with positive people travelling on the same journey as you are. Thats what i have had to do. Even though it is heart breaking you have worked your butt of and deserve to hold your head up high and be proud of what you have achieved.

    Keep chinnin away at it casey youve done an amazing job.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Some ppl are so negative it's had to believe. I say 'you look fantastic' for what it's worth.

    ReplyDelete